At the moment, I am just so frustrated and disappointed, quite numb actually and really am at the end of my tether.
For the last 4 months I have worked so hard, trained consistently and made sure that I kept all my sports massage appointments – the body was strong and all was set for a wonderful day in the Pyrenees and then …..
For the last week I have been struggling big time, hard to walk with the knee in lots of pain .. swelling and a total lack of stability around the joint. The most annoying part is that I cannot put it down to one single event, no trip over a kerbstone, no banging it into a table, no unfortunate twist .. nothing at all.
I finished my last hilly training session and from then on it has just deteriorated to the point that I have had to withdraw from the event. Closer examination has revealed more cartilage damage but now that the swelling has started to go down, at least we seem to be able to rule out ligament tears.
I have been told no bike riding now for an extended time and a regime of specific exercises and rehab, strengthening the joint. I need to be back on the anti-inflam’s and lots of ice … the physio suggested swimming would be a good option for me, so I guess its time for some more new goggles and more splashing around.
All that work, the best fitness on a bike for nearly 10 years and then this out of nowhere … really it gutting.
It has made me think hard about my “competitive” future, which I guess is now finally over … the 10 years of top level rugby league and then 10 years of ironman training has finally caught up with me – the list of injuries I have had is long and I have to face up to that.
In the short term, I need to recover from this setback and then take stock, but I have hung up the “events and races” boots and retired any idea of adventures or long distance extravaganzas. I think it’s time to really just enjoy the bike for what it is and not worry about trying to prove I can still hack it, cos clearly I can’t.
The Tour de France starts tomorrow, I should have been there, but sometimes life takes a different route and for me that dream is over. I am really looking forward to the race itself, although Stage 8 will be hard to watch.
It’s beer time tonight, I need it.